


Plant Therapy 101

by embarrassingresultofmyfreetime



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Basically Aziraphale accidentally finds out about Crowley yelling at his plants, Crowley is nervous abt Azi seeing him like that but of course it all works out okay, Crowley tells Azi how to yell at his plants, Happy Ending, Wholesome, actually seems interested, and much to Crowley's surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 14:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19402405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embarrassingresultofmyfreetime/pseuds/embarrassingresultofmyfreetime
Summary: Crowley teaches Aziraphale how to let off some steam (by yelling at his plants)





	Plant Therapy 101

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors

"Don't think I haven't noticed you! The others at LEAST made an EFFORT! You're just pathetic."  
Aziraphale had stopped by Crowley's flat and had yet to reach the door when he heard his best friend's terrifying scolds. Aziraphale froze before his knuckles could reach the door to knock.  
He had never before heard Crowley speak in such a harsh mannor. Of course Aziraphale had heard his friend become outraged over justifyably terrible human events, but this was on a whole new level. This sounded... personal. And that made it sound so much worse.  
The demon's words felt like a razor cutting mercilessly into whatever poor sap was on the recieving end of them.  
"I raised you, gave you a home, and in exchange... I asked for /just one thing/."  
A painfilled pause, "But you couldn't even do that! You've let me down. And you know... what happens... when one of you /lets me down/."  
Crowley's words were colder than ice. There was no trace of his amused song-like style of talking, no warmth or mercy- only apathy remained.  
Aziraphale felt as if the lack of any emotion at all was worse than anger. At the very least, it was far more terrifying.  
By this point Aziraphale found his hands shaking but he couldn't stand there a moment longer. It took a concious effort for him to knock.  
"Say goodbye to-"  
Crowley's voice stopped before his visiter could even get to a second knock.  
"What? I'm kind of in the middle of something here."  
There was that humor, but it was from somewhere distant and unwelcoming that it almost made Aziraphale want to turn away before it was too late.  
"Uh- It's me! Aziraphale!"  
He cleared his throat, not realizing that his fearful state had dried out his mouth.  
"Oh."  
Aziraphale heard the muffled metal clinks of someone unlocking the door and then suddenly it swung open.  
"Hello." Crowley greeted him. He visibly seemed to be in the middle of shifting gears and the warm smile that usually greated the angel had yet to become wholehearted. He hadn't even dropped in a playful nickname.  
"Yes, hello." Aziraphale replied softly. He glanced around the room but found no one else in sight.  
"I do hope I'm not intruding. You sounded as if you may have... company."  
"No," Crowley shuffled one foot and pulled whatever was in his right had from behind his back. It was nothing more than a small potted plant. Aziraphale noticed that a few of its newer leaves were wilting into a sloppy mush.  
"Just my plants. Did you... need something?"  
"Why were you yelling at them?" Aziraphale asked without answering the question.  
Crowley would have usually told any other given person, angel, or otherwise that it was none of their business what he did in the safety of his own home. However, this was Aziraphale- who had asked in the softest most heartfelt way- and Crowley didn't have the heartlessness to tell him to piss off.  
"I read it in a magazine once. It's supposed to be theraputic or something."  
"Really?" Aziraphale asked curiously, waltzing right in and turning his attention to the various plants in Crowley's apartment.  
"Uhm. Yeah."  
Crowley followed the angel across the room, taken aback by his sincere interest. "I think so anyways. It does help sometimes."  
"I've never heard you so angry before," Aziraphale commented.  
Crowley's heart dropped- but much to his surprise, Aziraphale didn't ask /why/. Instead, he seemed more fascinated by the notion itself.  
"Might I try?"  
"Sure."  
Crowley shrugged and replaced the half melted plant alongside the others.  
"Hello, my dears! Your leaves grow so beautifully! You must be the most beautiful in all of London!"  
"Uh-" Crowley considered interrupting.  
But then Aziraphale turned to him, beaming with delight.  
"I think it is working!" The angel grinned.  
Crowley fumbled for the sunglasses in his top left pocket and pushed them to the bridge of his nose with both hands to casually hide his face. He quelled a blush before replying.  
"Maybe, but- Maybe try yelling at them. You must have your own things to be upset about."  
"Oh, I don't know."  
Aziraphale sat down, crosslegged, before the plants. Crowley elected to remain standing somewhere behind him. He wondered why Aziraphale hadn't asked what he was upset about- but he was glad for it all the same. He really didn't want to say.  
"Well there is... one thing that happened recently, erm- A customer had the nerve to come into /my/ bookshop and call me some /very/ impolite words earlier today."  
"What did you tell them?" Crowley asked, enraged at the very IDEA that ANYONE would DARE to upset his angel (but refused to let his voice reflect it).  
"I told him there is no room for those kinds of words in my shop and politely told him to leave!"  
"What did you /want/ to tell him?" Crowley let the word 'want' linger in the air an extra half second before finishing his sentence. He circled behind Aziraphale- who was still facing the plants- and leaned against the wall just out of view where he could get a decent look at the good-natured man's peeved face without intruding.  
"I wanted to tell him off properly! Tell him; 'You should never /dare/ to say those words again!' - for they were very untasteful and offensive," he explained more softly before continuing with all the anger his gentle soul could muster.  
"'I have had to hear those terrible words be used for far too many years in the 1900s and there is absolutely NO PLACE for them in this modern day and age!' I hope if that man were to ever let those words leave his tongue again that his tongue might leave his mouth for good!"  
Crowley's eyebrows raised involentarily and he felt his soft lips curl into the same amazed, smitten smile. It was an expression reminicent of the one he had found upon his very first conversation with the endearing angel.  
Crowley had given Aziraphale this same look on a great many occasions without even realizing; Aziraphale was simply a person who never ceased to amaze him.  
"My lord!" Aziraphale exclaimed cheerfully. He quickly swiveled his head around to his friend, "Why, that does feel quite relieving!"  
Crowley barely noticed as he took off his glasses and returned them to his pocket.  
"Take another spin." Crowley gently encouraged, his voice once again finding the warm, amused tone he had previously lacked.  
"Alright!" Aziraphale chirped happily.  
Crowley could see that Aziraphale very rarely allowed himself to say speak his mind, but was certainly enjoying it.  
Aziraphale turned to the array of plants, both big and small, and aired his grievance,  
"Well, I- I suppose I /am/ rather cross that Gabriel mocks my work. He understands nothing about humans and thinks my work is trivial! If I was honest I- I'd tell him: 'Gabriel! You are no better than me! You sit tucked away in Heaven telling people how to do their jobs because you don't have anything more valuable to do! We all get it, you told Mary about the birth of Jesus- but that was well over 2000 years ago! You're nothing more than a glorified postman!"  
Crowley put one hand gently over his mouth.  
In front of him, Aziraphale's confidence quickly subsided into shame. His shoulders pulled closer and he hung his head.  
"Oh dearie me, I shouldn't say such things-"  
"Au contraire!" Crowley interjected, sliding over to sit next to the angel in a single, graceful movement.  
"You're a natural! It's not exactly how I do it but of it works it works," he said nonchalantly but supportively nonetheless. He then added with a dark smile, "Now all those feelings can torment the plants and not you."  
Aziraphale gently locked his arm around Crowley's and beamed over to him. Unfortunately, Crowley couldn't hide his blush with his glasses.  
This only made the angel smile more. From Aziraphale's perspective, Crowley took his glasses off less and less often. Of course Aziraphale would never even think of asking him to take them off out of common courtesy- but the angel did love the treat of seeing Crowley's gorgous face without them.  
"I suppose it does work after all! Although, any time spent with you cheers me up, my dear."  
Crowley was rendered wide-eyed and speachless with panic. He could almost swear Aziraphale had planned this. Taking the arm that he usually used to retrieve his glasses had to have been the first step of the angel's plan- not that Crowley was complaining.  
But now his mind was blank and it was all too easy for Aziraphale to see.  
He just really hoped Aziraphale hadn't put together what he had been tormenting his plants about upon his arrival. Crowley didn't want to tell him. Crowley didn't want Aziraphale to see him at his worst.  
And he didn't have his glasses. It was all so easy to see. Aziraphale would ask what was wrong and he wouldn't know what to say-  
"I was wondering," Aziraphale began.  
Oh God- Sa- Oh there it was.  
"-if you would like to go to a new resturaunt I found. I would have phoned you before I stopped by, but I had only just passed it down the street. I thought it might make a lovely stop for dinner and I'd much rather not dine alone."  
Crowley resisted the urge to hug him.  
"Yes, I'd love- I'd like to- Yeah, I-I'll go with you." Crowley eventually found the words to agree.  
"Splendid!" Aziraphale beamed, letting go of his loose grip on Crowley's arm.  
The demon stood up quickly and offered the angel a hand before he had fully processed the movement. Aziraphale took it a little too enthusiastically and- once on his feet- let go a little too late for it not to mean something.  
But Crowley didn't want to overthink it. His heart was already racing and he didn't need his brain to be racing too.  
"Shall we leave now?" Crowley offered.  
"We can. It'll make for a beautiful walk and I do believe they'll have a reservation ready by our arrival."  
Crowley wanted to exchange the smile as he reached for the door but he couldn't. His hand stopped mid-reach.  
"Did you hear what I was saying before you knocked?"  
Aziraphale locked his jaw and then gave several short, sharp nods.  
"I didn't mean to. You were just... very loud." He explained sheepishly.  
"I-" Crowley dipped his head, "I don't want to tell you why I was upset. I don't like anyone to see that side of me... especially not you."  
Aziraphale paused to consider this. He nodded slowly at first but then decided on a more thoughtful response.  
"I trust you." Aziraphale said firmly before elaborating, "I hope you know that you don't have to hide anything from me- I care for you unconditionally. You're my best friend! But nevertheless, we've known each other for quite a long time and I'm sure that whatever it is, you know what you're doing."  
This time, Crowley did hug him. It caught Aziraphale off guard and thus took him a moment to respond, but Crowley didn't mind in the least.  
"Unconditionally?" Crowley repeated quietly into his best friend's shoulder.  
"Why /of course/, my dear." The angel reassured him softly.  
Crowley took full advantage of not having his glasses on and hid his face in Aziraphale's shoulder.  
The angel chuckled ever so gently, but became shockingly concious of how much Crowley meant to him.  
After a solid few seconds, Crowley pulled away from the warm embrace. He quickly recomposed himself back into his usual carefree attitude.  
"So anyways. Resturaunt?"  
"Resturaunt!" Aziraphale confirmed excitedly.  
Crowley opened the door for him and followed the angel through it; having forgetten all about the small potted plant that was now- by some miracle- doing a quite deal better.


End file.
